To be truly forgiven

That we “may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and
forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord” (BCP 264)
Service for the Imposition of Ashes
 
To be truly forgiven we must be truly honest with ourselves and with God about what it is we are to be forgiven for.
 
This doesn’t sound quite right, does it? We believe that God already knows what we need and what to do for us as we cry out to God, but in matters of shame and regret, we often miss the point.
 
God already knows what I need. When we approach God in supplication and ask to be forgiven, we believe that we need forgiveness (and we do), but because of our pain, or shame, or guilt we believe that forgiveness is ALL we need. How many times have you gone to God in supplication and asked for forgiveness for the same thing? Ten, 100, 1000 times? Why hasn’t it worked? If forgiveness is all we need once would be enough, but there is something else we need as well. In order to truly receive forgiveness, we must first truly embrace the pain.
 
No doubt you have suffered the pain of shame and regret. When we suffer we look for an escape, to get away (or put away) from that which afflicts us. In contrast, God knows we need to embrace the pain, to be truly clear about the event, and be honest about our part in it. To be forgiven we must offer up to God everything that we are asking forgiveness for, most of all our clear and honest self. To go to God with a generic, “forgive me for hurting him/her” is not asking to be forgiven for the depth of your part in the hurt. Only when you are honest and clear with yourself can you be honest and clear with God. Only when you truly offer up the depth of your pain, enumerated and itemized, fully aware and fully responsible, will you be able to truly be forgiven?
 
In the Gospel of Luke (18:18-30) we witness an exchange between Jesus and a “certain ruler,” in which he affirms the self-knowledge of the man and his quest for eternal life. After a short exchange, Jesus tells him, “You still lack one thing”; that one thing will be and will always remain the source of the pain and longing of the man. It’s a lot like a splinter: leave even a little piece behind and the pain and festering will continue.
 
None of us wants to review or relive the horrors of our past, those “things we have done, or left undone.” Tragically, like the “certain ruler,” it is actually our familiarity with our pain and our desire for eternal life that keep us from addressing the core of our need. Jesus told the ruler to “Sell everything you have and give to the poor.” True, this was not pain of a past offense, but a manner of life. Still, the point Jesus was making was that the ruler had left this stone unturned and the attitude that lurked below was the splinter that would continue to fester. Jesus gave this advice to the ruler—to sell everything, to propel him to a place of realization and responsibility the effect of which was his freedom for eternity. The ruler’s eternal life, complete with a clear conscious and joyful soul, would start now.
 
Lent is our time, not the only time, but our liturgical time, to turn over that stone, reveal that truth, own that pain, articulate that suffering, and receive that forgiveness. Your eternal life of freedom and joy can start now, and well it should.   
 
That we “may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and
forgiveness; through  Jesus Christ our Lord”