Who am I?

Who am I?

This seems like an easy question, and most would quickly answer by listing pedigree, history, career, and family status, but are those things we do really who we are? In order for us to respond to God’s call, we must be able to hear, and to hear, we must be attentive. How often have you missed someone calling your name because you were so entranced with what you were doing that you couldn’t hear them? We listen to what we are focused on, and our focus has a tendency to point away from God.

Christianity has always advocated self-awareness and self-honesty. Being self aware means knowing the underlying reasons for what we do, say, feel, and believe. This may seem simple, but our usual reflections into these areas are cursory at best. We must be more attentive to our reason and less emphatic with our opinion. To look inside requires a degree of skill and a lot of will. First, you must know how the Creator designed you as a unique individual to partner with Him. 

At an early age, Jesus knew exactly who He was. When His frantic parents lost him in the crowd leaving Jerusalem after celebrating the Feast of Passover, they finally found Him in the temple. His mother scolded him, saying, “What do you think you’re doing, scaring us like this?” He responds, “Didn’t you know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” (Luke 2:41-52). Jesus had figured out who He was and where He had come from, and that informed everything He did.

Throughout scripture, Jesus asks questions, not because He didn’t already know the answers. He wanted to deepen others’ self-awareness about who they are, what motivates them, and what they believe and value. He was the consummate asker of tough self-discovery questions.

Consider what Jesus did when His disciples urged Him to send away the massive crowd that had grown hungry after a long day of listening to Him. Instead of complying, Jesus tells them, “You give them something to eat… How many loaves do you have? Go look!” (Mark 6:37, Matthew 14:16) This may seem like a simple logistical answer, but in reality Jesus was calling each disciple to know who they were at that moment. 

In the Gospel of John, Philip asks to see the Father, and Jesus answers with the question, “Have you been with me so long and you still don't know me?” You can see how this question, as jarring as it is, cannot be answered without a deep internal knowledge of the self. How could Philip have been so wrong and why hadn’t he seen it are self-questions that require a deeper dive into fear and motivation–a dive not many are brave enough to take.

I know what we all want. I want it too, for God to just fix it and change us. How often have you prayed for relief from a situation more of your own making than you will admit? This kind of prayer does not find purchase, any more than seed scattered on concrete will grow. The prayer, “God give me wisdom to see and to know and to change.” reflects an admission of participation, even responsibility for the self. 

Can God speak to you if you don't know who you are? Yes, in the same way a voice can reach us over a crowd with basic directions, you can hear God. Rather, with honesty and perseverance, it would be our Savior's voice clearly heard in the silence of a quiet spirit and mind. 
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If you would like to delve deeper, give me a call.


Hearing Him, 

Fr. Bill+